


Her Ray of Light

by Kasei



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Boredom, Eientei, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Immortality, Internal Monologue, Manipulation, POV Third Person, Self-Harm, Yuri, dependance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:11:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4915579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasei/pseuds/Kasei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An immortal needs distraction in their life. Mokou, who had served as Kaguya's distraction for centuries, has disappeared, and Eientei's slow pace hasn't been enough for her. When she finally does return, however, she brings with her a torrent of memories surrounding her immortality and the difficulties she has lived through because of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

                A faint noise could be heard echoing around the bamboo forest of the lost : floating through the still, heavy summer air, the sounds of dozens of rabbits rushing around preparing for something could be heard breaking up the usual backdrop of July’s cicadas. It was, of course, coming from Eientei; as one got closer to the mansion, they’d be able to make out the rhythmical sound of mochi pounding, the melody of cheerful singing, and the (surprisingly regular) crash of something breaking. Only the keenest of ears, however, would be able to make out the soft yet insistent voice of someone trying to rouse a heavy sleeper.

                “Princess, it _really is_ about time you woke up...” Reisen repeated yet again, now with an added hint of pleading to her voice. “The rabbits have been preparing all morning, but we really must get you ready, too.” _How you can sleep through this racket is beyond me, though_ , she thought to herself as she stood in the doorway to Kaguya’s room. The princess had a fairly large room to herself, with a comfortable futon in the centre of the floor. Perhaps too comfortable, since neither Reisen’s voice nor the constant clatter of high-spirited rabbits passing in front of her room seemed able to drag her out of it. Then again, the princess’s naps had been getting longer and longer : she was almost at three weeks of uninterrupted sleep as of today. She seemed to lack both the willpower and a reason to bother waking up... However, Reisen didn’t give up, attempting to wake her a few more times. Finally, the sleeping princess stirred : a stretch, a yawn, and she was awake, albeit bleary-eyed and looking confused.

“Reisen ? Have you been standing there long ?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Well, it _has_ been a few hours...”

“Is that all ? You should have let me sleep a little longer.” _Maybe a few more days_ , she muttered to herself, rolling over with a yawn and ready to go back to sleep. Reisen, seeing her morning’s efforts about to go to waste, let out an involuntary yelp of panic, before trying to salvage the situation. “But, Princess ! The festival ! We need you to get ready for it !” This got Kaguya to turn back round, rewarding Reisen with an even more confused look. “Festival ? For what occasion ?”

Seeing this as an opportunity to grab her attention, Reisen launched into an explanation.

“The one-hundred-and-fiftieth annual “Arrival in Gensokyo” festival, to celebrate when you lifted the spell of eternity over Eientei, allowing it to fully enter into Gensokyo. The rabbits have almost finished with the preparations, but it just wouldn’t be the same without our Princess.” She looked hopefully at Kaguya, as if asking _so will you please get out of bed now?_ Her hopes would be in vain, though, since it was much too early for such subtleties to by picked up on by the sleepy immortal.

“That festival ? The last one was merely a few weeks ago, why would we have one again now ? It’s much too soon.” Not prepared to let her go that easily, Reisen insisted. “Fifty-two weeks, to be precise. It _is_ an annual festival, after all, so it would be a shame to break from tradition now, would it not, Princess ?” Kaguya, still not convinced, and decidedly oblivious to (or possibly ignoring) the thin layer of sarcasm in Reisen’s voice, was about to go back to sleep, when Eirin walked past the open door.

“Ah, there you are, Udongein. The rabbits have almost finished setting everything up and pounding the mochi, so go and give them their next task.” She then turned towards Kaguya, who was still lying down with her eyes half closed. “Good morning, Princess. There isn’t much time before the festival, so you really ought to get ready now, if you would be so kind.” And with that, she continued on her way, now with Reisen in tow, who was giving her a look of eternal gratitude, both of them leaving Kaguya alone with her thoughts. With Reisen out of the way, the sun was now streaming in through the open door, making it difficult to go back to sleep; Kaguya decided to accept her fate, and rose out of bed, stretching, and familiarising herself with her surroundings, which hadn’t changed much despite the fact that she had neglected them for weeks. She stood there for a while, naked, her mind wandering, thinking about what Reisen had told her.

                _One hundred and fifty years. Has it really been that long since I lifted my spell over Eientei ? For most people, a hundred and fifty years would be a considerable amount of time, yet for me... I remember the first of these festivals as if it was yesterday, and yet we celebrate it again and again, year after year._ Still half asleep, she started searching for her regular dress, before realising with a sinking feeling that a festival meant wearing her festival robes. She started looking for them absent-mindedly, not really wanting to succeed in her search.

_What are we even celebrating ? I feel as if the only purpose this festival serves is as a reminder of how inconsequential time is for me. Maybe if we celebrated it every decade – century, even-, maybe they would seem like less of a constant blur to me._ She came to her closet, the most likely place to find them; looking anywhere else first was purely procrastination. Sure enough, it was right there inside the closet.

_Yes, a change of scale is what I need. After all, most people measure their lives in seconds, whilst I could measure mine by these festivals. It’s only natural that my scale for time should be adjusted accordingly._ With a bittersweet chuckle, she called for some rabbits to help her into her festival attire : it was a heavy, multi-layered robe that would be difficult for anyone to put on themselves, and was especially oppressing in this season’s heat, which further lowered the princess’s motivation for the festival. When the rabbits arrived, she greeted them with a slightly forced smile, and resumed her train of thought as she watched them help her into her robes.

_It’s fine for them, I suppose; one day, they’ll die, and on that day, their lives will be delimited between a fixed date of birth and death. Their lives will eventually have a full stop, in turn giving meaning to the sentence they’ve written with their existence. These seconds, minutes, even these festivals, they’re the words and punctuation that end up writing a story, yet mine just keeps on being written, never arriving at a full stop, and thus losing all meaning to it. Each instant is precious when there won’t be an infinity more. A hundred and fifty years is significant when you might only live to one hundred, maybe two hundred years. When you’re immortal, however, no matter how large a span of time, no matter if it feels like forever, it will always be nothing compared to what lies ahead. What lies ahead..._ She shuddered, shaking her head as if to chase away those thoughts.

“We’ve finished, Princess !” One of the rabbits said, smiling happily up at her. Kaguya smiled back, patting the rabbit on her head in recognition. _Well, since they seem to enjoy it, I might as well go through with it. I just wish it was enough to break up the monotony of this endless cycle..._

 

                The rabbits had now set up everything needed for the festival. The formal part of the festival, the part which required Kaguya, consists of a simple but meaningful ritual : Reisen, dressed even more formally than usual, carries a branch of the udonge tree up to a pedestal, where Kaguya awaits. The branch in question, frozen in time by Kaguya’s spell of eternity, has therefore not yet bloomed. When it reaches the princess, she removes the spell, causing it to bloom instantly. The branch, here, is a representation of Eientei as a whole, which was also frozen in time, until the spell was removed over it, allowing it to “bloom”, entering Gensokyo and the start of a new era for its inhabitants. After the branch blooms, the regular festivities ensue, including eating, drinking, and dancing (usually all at once).

Kaguya, now fully prepared, made her way up to the pedestal. As she got into place, sweating under the many layers of robes she was wearing, she looked over the many rabbits, all eager to get to the “good part” of the festival. A gong rang; this was Reisen’s queue. Kaguya only needed to wait, watching as Reisen approached with the branch. The rabbits, under Eirin’s watchful eye, waited either side of the long, thin carpet that Reisen walked along, and were as focused on the branch as anyone could hope for.

_Here we go again. I lift my spell, we eat and drink, and then repeat it all over again an instant later. The only notable thing this time is the heat_ , she noticed, only now becoming fully aware of the abnormally high temperature, even for July. Looking around at the crowd, she saw that she wasn’t the only one who had noticed it, as some of the rabbits were complaining about it, a few even fanning themselves to keep cool. She then noticed a faint sizzling sound, which seemed to be coming from the branch itself.

_Could it be...?_

Reisen had noticed it too, and had paused, staring at the branch. Moments later, she leapt backwards in shock, as the branch exploded into flames in her hands.

_It must be !_

As the rabbits scattered in all directions and the branch spat vivid flames all around it, Kaguya, instead, looked upwards. Against the sun, a familiar silhouette greeted her : fiery wings, long flowing hair, and an oversized ribbon on her head; it was Mokou, descending from the sky, ablaze in a display meant to impress the people beneath her.

“Didya miss me, princess ?”

_This is what I have been waiting for : an interruption, a break in the flow. And there she is, in all her fiery glory, just waiting for me to..._

Kaguya leapt into the air, fist first, aiming at her rival, who was expecting it : with a smirk, Mokou lunged right back at her. Their fists collided, sending a loud crash echoing around the forest. For a second, the two rivals looked into each other’s eyes, grinning. The impact seemed to revitalise the princess : gone was the air of boredom she had about her only a minute ago, and in its place was a sparkle of pure glee in her eyes.

_This is what I’ve lived for_. Scenes from her previous fights flashed before her eyes, reminding her of feelings of pain, joy, but most of all, freedom. _Freedom..._ At that though, she flung off her ceremony robes, leaving only the centremost layer. The rest spiralled downwards, creating a rainbow of colour falling softly to the ground, leaving Kaguya in a plain white silk robe, as if she had just shed herself of all unnecessary colour, to focus on the raw emotions of the moment. Beneath them, the rabbits had all taken refuge inside; Reisen and Eirin were nowhere to be seen. The branch was still burning, but now seemed pathetic compared to the fiery immortal hovering before Kaguya. The two rivals leapt back, putting a good distance between each other. Coming to a standstill, Mokou snapped her fingers, summoning a wall of fireballs around her. “Ready ?” she asked, sending the fireballs hurtling towards the princess before she could reply. She narrowly avoided them, feeling the fire licking around her face, blistering her pale, cold skin; she didn’t seem to mind the pain, her smile only growing wider as the flames scorched her.

_This is the first time I’ve felt my skin in decades. These flames aren’t just hurting me, they’re waking me up; this feeling of danger, of pain, is what I need to remind myself that I’m alive._

 Mokou started firing wave after wave of fireballs in all directions, trying to trap the princess in a blazing inferno she had formed between them. However, Kaguya was used to her rival’s simple strategies, and weaved gracefully through the inferno, rising up and diving back down with the speed and elegance of a night sparrow hunting at dusk. The smell of burning hair filled the air, but she didn’t notice : she was focused on finding an opening in her rival’s barrage of flames... which she found, when Mokou took slightly too long to summon the next wall of fire.

_Now to have even more fun._

Seizing her chance, she flew towards Mokou at full speed, turning round in mid-air to deliver a powerful kick; the crack of ribs rang out throughout the forest, and Mokou was sent spiralling through the air, crashing into a bamboo trunk, breaking it in half. A rush of adrenaline washed over the princess, who was now breathing heavily, her smooth skin now rough with burns and with a crazed look in her eyes; she was unrecognisable from the gentle (if bored) princess that had been holding a ceremony a few minutes ago.

_I forgot how just how good letting yourself go feels. Letting your feelings out, unrestrained; this is what freedom feels like._

 She laughed : it was a twisted, sadistic sound of over a century’s worth of repressed urges bubbling over, ready to be taken out on her rival. She flew towards Mokou, ready to follow up with another powerful kick on her rival who was still recovering from the blow; she leapt into the just in time, as Kaguya slammed into the ground where she had been resting. Ready for more, Kaguya followed her into the air. Now that they were both airborne, Kaguya started shooting out rings of deadly projectiles. Mokou had no problem avoiding the simple rings, but she was taken by surprise when Kaguya shot one straight at her from behind; the ball of pure energy slammed into the back of her left knee, tearing right through it. This was no regular danmaku battle; they were fighting to the death. Mokou cried out in pain; it was a sound familiar to the princess, yet a sound she had forgotten. Hearing the familiar cries of pain from her rival seemed to further revive her.

_This feeling of power is what I’ve been missing. Being able to kill someone over and over again, and be able to do it over again the next day, is the only distraction fitting of those who cannot die._

Mokou recovered from the initial shock of her wound, surprisingly fast considering its magnitude. She glared at the princess, who smirked right back at her; this was enough to provoke Mokou into charging straight at her. Yelling bloody murder, she lunged forwards, setting herself entirely aflame, delivering a crushing headbutt to the princess, who blocked it with both arms. However, she had been hit with such force that she staggered backwards, dazed by the blow; her arms were broken. Mokou saw this opening and took full advantage of it : she delivered a blazing uppercut, smashing into the princess’s jaw, then rose up into the air to gain momentum, before crashing back into the princess with a flurry of blows. Her final kick was delivered with such force that Kaguya was slammed into the ground, coming to rest in a patch of bamboo shoots.

_This pain truly makes me feel alive again. Although, I won’t be for very much longer..._

Mokou descended onto the broken, burnt body of her rival with a victorious smile on her face. “Out of practise, huh ? That’s what you get for living in a cushy mansion for all those years.” She straddled Kaguya’s limp body, her legs on either side holding her rival still, raising her fist up for a final blow.

_How long has it been since I was last killed ? However long it may have been, I might as well share the feeling with her..._

“Hundreds of years together and you still don’t know me”, Kaguya said as she closed her eyes, using her remaining strength to activate her power over the instantaneous. Before Mokou even realised what had happened, a bamboo stalk had shot out of the ground, piercing through both Kaguya and her own heart. Her look of shock only lasted a second, before turning to resigned irritation.

“You just couldn’t let me win, could you ?”

 

 

                A few minutes later, the two immortals were lying on the grass on either side of the bloodstained bamboo shoot, both in perfect health, albeit exhausted. They lay there for a while, panting, looking up at the thick canopy of bamboo leaves above them that filtered the summer sun into an archipelago of rays which covered the ground.

                “That was fun.”

Mokou’s words were the first to break the silence after the two had caught their breaths. She turned towards Kaguya, who was already looking at her, grinning. “I didn’t expect that to work so well. Have you forgotten with whom you’re dealing with ?”

Mokou let out a sigh, turning back towards the sky. “It’s been so long, I’d forgotten how much of an asshole you were.”

The princess only laughed in response, before falling silent again. Lying there under the sun, next to the person who she had just killed, she felt truly happy for the first time in decades. Her body felt fresh, as she had been fully renewed; she even lacked the usual bruises and scratches of everyday life.

The cicadas, which had ceased their constant noise out of fear, had slowly begun to chirp again; the forest was regaining its calm yet heavy atmosphere.

                “Where were you, Mokou ?”

No reply.

Kaguya sat up, forcing herself into Mokou’s peripheral vision. “It’s been years. Long enough for me to actually notice your absence. You can’t have been rolling around in the mud eating insects for that long without getting bored.” The princess’s mocking tone got a reaction out of her : Mokou sat up, glaring angrily at Kaguya, before turning away again.

“I’ve been busy.”

Kaguya waited a second, but when she saw that Mokou wasn’t going to add anything to her statement, she pressed her further. “Busy doing what ? There is nothing worth doing here.” Mokou turned back to face her. Her fiery gaze was strangely subdued, more of an ember compared to the usual inferno of her stare.

“I know. That’s the problem.” She paused, but felt Kaguya’s gaze encouraging her to carry on, which she did with another sigh. “I’ve lived in this forest long enough. So, I decided to travel, to explore. But the thing is, Gensokyo’s a small place. I’ve been everywhere, seen everything. There just wasn’t anything that caught my interest, anything that made me think that I could, ya know, spend a few millennia there. Everything outside this forest is just so... alive.” She looked like she was going to say something else, but stopped; she had already said more than she had wanted to.

They fell silent again. A gust of warm summer air swept through the bamboo leaves, making a pleasant rustling sound. The only obvious trace of the battle was the crimson bamboo stalk, sticking out of the ground between the two immortals, pointing towards the moon that was visible in the sky despite the bright sun. 

                “I missed you.”

Mokou sat up, looking surprised; Kaguya’s words sounded far-off, and were barely audible, which made Mokou doubt she had heard her properly. “You what ? You missed me ?”

“Well, that isn’t strictly true,” she corrected herself in the same distant tone. She then shook her head, snapping out of her apparent daze. “In truth, I missed killing you over and over again.”

A smile spread across Mokou’s face, matching the princess’s expression. “That, I can believe.” She seemed to ponder something for a few seconds, before asking : “If you enjoyed fighting me so much, why did you send those humans and youkai after me instead ? I made it seem like you’d gotten bored of fighting me or something.”

Kaguya let out a disappointed sigh. “Oh, Mokou, I thought you would understand. You hadn’t visited me for quite a long time. I had hoped that it would inspire you to take revenge on me in person...”

Mokou, who had already started smiling at the word “visited”, let out a bittersweet chuckle after she had heard the princess’s explanation. “You must have been bored if you missed me that much. You could always have visited me for a change, you know.” She paused, before resuming in a more serious tone “Yeah, I realised that was probably why, afterwards. But by then I had already given up on this place.” Looking down, she added in a disgruntled growl “It wouldn’t be the first thing I’ve given up on with time.”

Kaguya nodded, placing her hand on Mokou’s arm. “I know. As time passes, more and more different things seem to fade out of importance. Time seems to strip everything of meaning... in truth, time itself was one of the first things I gave up counting,” she said softly. However, Mokou scoffed bitterly at the princess’s attempt at compassion.

“Time ? That’s the least of my worries. Hell knows how long I haven’t kept up with time. No, I’ve even given up eating, drinking, sometimes even sleeping. I just can’t be bothered. I’ll die and then be reborn again in perfect health, so why bother ? I’d given up on living, Kaguya. So don’t ya think, giving up on our little feud seems normal next to that ? I’d almost forgotten why we were even fighting in the first place. Do you remember my father, Kaguya ? The one I’ve supposedly been taking revenge for all this time ?”

The princess shook her head, lowering her head. “No. I don’t even remember his face.”

At that, Mokou teared up.

“Neither do I”, she whimpered.


	2. Chapter 2

                The branch hissed as Reisen poured a bucket of water over it; a cloud of rainbow smoke rose up, before it fell silent. She wiped her brow; the rabbits had calmed down, and the duelling immortals had taken their fight out of earshot. Reisen stood there for a while, lost in thought next to the charred remains of the branch. Feeling Eirin’s presence behind her, she snapped out of it, turning round : sure enough, Eirin was there, looming over her from the top of one of Eientei’s wooden boardwalks, but she paid no attention to Reisen as she stared off into the distance in the general direction in which her princess had gone. Reisen hesitated; she usually tried to avoid interrupting her mistress in her thoughts, mostly because she knew she’d get no response out of her. This time, however, her desire for answers got the best of her.

“Why didn’t you stop her ?”

As expected, this yielded no reaction : Eirin’s face remained as motionless as a marble statue, unblinking as she stared off into the distance. Reisen cleared her throat, before raising her voice slightly, enough to make sure Eirin heard her yet still trying to remain cautious as to not overstep her boundaries.

“We were in the middle of the festival. The Princess hasn’t interacted with... her, for such a long time, and it would have been so easy for you to just kill her right there and then, but most of all, for the Princess, it just isn’t safe to let her-“ Eirin cut her off with a slight inclination of her head, fixing her eyes on Reisen’s. The lunar rabbit flinched; her heart was racing, and she realised that she had let herself get carried away, almost shouting by the time Eirin cut her off; She lowered her head to escape the pressure of the mistress’s gaze, reproaching herself for being so over-emotional.

“The Princess can handle herself.” Everything Eirin said was always spoken with such a level yet imposing tone that it was impossible for someone such as Reisen to challenge her : everything she said was the truth, was her orders, was final. _Certainly, Eirin is correct, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s... right ?_ As if she had read Reisen’s thoughts, Eirin sighed; like a statue coming to life, her limbs regained movement and an expression carved into her stone-set face : she smiled sadly at Reisen, kneeling down to make herself level with her servant. This was a rare gesture for her; she almost never lowered her imposing air of authority to put herself on equal footing with anyone other than the princess. _The last time she did this, we were also talking about Kaguya..._ Reisen did her utmost to raise her head back up and hold her mistress’s gaze, still piercing despite the hint of sadness in her eyes.

“I don’t like seeing the Princess hurt either. It pains me to allow her to suffer in such a way, but alas, this is what she wishes for, and therefore I cannot object.” Reisen nodded, agreeing before fully digesting what Eirin had said; a habit from her centuries of faithful servitude. _After all, she’s always right_. Thinking back well over a century ago, back to when Mokou would challenge Kaguya on a regular basis, her memories confirmed her mistress’s words. _She would return home, bloodstained and burnt, often missing chunks of flesh or even limbs, but always grinning, as if she had just had the time of her life. She clearly did delight in her fights with Mokou. But why did she enjoy them so much ? Why would such a kind, gentle soul such as the Princess enjoy inflicting and receiving pain to that extent ? Why-_

“Why ?”

Reisen slapped a hand over her mouth with a look of shock on her face : she had spoken aloud by accident. Before she could blurt out any form of apology, Eirin patted her on the head, before rising up to her usual imposing height. Reisen suppressed a flash of annoyance : she was being treated like a regular rabbit, decidedly inferior, as if unable to comprehend the thoughts belonging to her mistress and princess; this turned out to be exactly what Eirin was implying.

“Reisen,” she started, with a hint of sympathy that sounded more condescending than anything else when spoken with that steady, level voice, “the Princess is an immortal, as is Mokou. When you’ve lived as long as they have, and yet know you have an eternity more ahead of you, death is little more than a distraction. Eternity is far too long for someone bound by time to hope to understand.” _Far too long for either of those two to have understood, either. Only I could have known the implications of what she asked of me, and yet..._

Eirin turned her back to her servant : she wanted to be alone with her memories. “Go make sure the rabbits have calmed down, then get them to prepare food for tonight. The festival will not resume. Send for me if the Princess requires assistance upon her return.” At that, she walked away, leaving behind her servant, unsatisfied and still overflowing with questions, expected to go back to her regular duties when all she wanted to obey was her thirst for answers.

                Eirin walked towards her study at a brisk pace, her lips set into a grim, straight line, staring intensely ahead of her, not at anything in Eientei, but into her past, a millennia and a half ago.

_I could have stopped her_.

Arriving in front of her study, she slid open the door on autopilot. The smell of incense washed over her, but she didn’t even notice it as she headed straight for her chair.

_Not only did I not stop her, I was the one who made it possible._

Once she was sitting down, she rested her head in her hands, covering her eyes, blocking out the present. Thinking.

 

 

                Eirin was in her study, a spacious room in a tower overlooking the Lunar Capital, with bookcases filled with millennia after millennia’s worth of knowledge lining the walls, all of which were only a fraction of what was stored in her brain, renowned source of knowledge that had gained her the title of Brain of the Moon. As she sipped on her peach tea, she looked over the morning’s newspapers, until a headline caught her attention.

**“Controversial Scientist Murdered”** , it announced in big, bold letters. She passed her fingers over it, opening the full article. Death wasn’t a common occurrence in the Lunar Capital, and when someone did die, it was most likely because it benefited someone else in some way or another. She took it upon herself to always stay on top of current events. _After all, “knowledge is power” holds true here more than anywhere else_. Reading the article, though, she was disappointed by the apparent simplicity of the case : a scientist had, for quite a long time now, been researching black holes, more specifically what may lie on the other side of them. Thanks to lunarian technology, he had even reproduced miniaturised black holes in his laboratory to study them; his work was carefully quarantined, presenting no danger to anyone other than himself, but despite this, it had caused quite a stir in the Lunar Capital. A military fanatic had decided to take matters into his own hands, accusing the scientist of treason and being a danger to society, before murdering him, promptly being arrested, and, soon, executed. Eirin sighed, folding the newspaper up and placing it on top of a pile on her desk. _No political intrigue here. Only needless bloodshed due to a fear of knowledge. Such a loss, too; his work could have helped reveal the answers to something I’ve been wondering about for a long time now..._ She finished her cup of tea, continuing with her morning routine with the story lingering at the back of her mind.

                A few hours later, someone knocked softly at the door, before opening it themselves. “Good morning, Eirin. Are you occupied ?”

“Ah, good morning, Princess. Do come in.” With her usual grace, Kaguya glided in, closing the door behind her.

“How is your research going ?” It  wasn’t rare for Kaguya to come visit her friend in the late hours of the morning like this : Eirin always had some kind of research going on, which the princess took great interest in.

“Sadly, there is nothing major to report. In fact, in light of today’s news, my current research may have hit a dead end.”

The princess nodded knowingly; being royalty, it was her duty to know what major events had taken place amongst her subjects, and therefore she was always one of the first to be informed. “Ah, yes, the murder of that scientist. You were awaiting the results of his work with anticipation, were you not ?”

“His research would have saved me some time, to say the least, but now that he has been murdered, his work will never reach a conclusion; not only that, but nobody will be willing to pursue his research from where he left off. Black holes still hold many mysteries, and lunarians aren’t used to not knowing; the fear of the unknown is especially strong amongst those who think they know everything. Because of this, I fear that our society is simply not ready to find out the truth behind something that carries such apprehension for them.”

The princess pouted a little, clearly unsatisfied with Eirin’s defeatist, albeit realistic, take on the situation. “Why not carry on the research yourself ? From your position, nobody would dare question your ability carry out the research in full safety, nor would anyone dream of murdering you.”

Eirin seemed to have already considered this as a possibility, and had rejected it. “My abilities are not the problem, your highness. I know that I could easily continue his research, probably at a much faster rate than him, at that. However, it would be disrespectful to carry on his research so quickly after his murder; that, added to the fact that his research was controversial in the first place, means that from my position, I simply cannot afford to be directly associated with it.”

This seemed to satisfy Kaguya more than Eirin’s previous answer : she mulled it over, nodding her head slightly as she conceded her arguments. However, her brow remained furrowed : something still didn’t sit well with her.

“I do realise that, publically, you cannot continue with the research. We both know, though, that you often research points of interest in secret, out of personal curiosity. What happened to your thirst for knowledge, Eirin ? This isn’t like you. If you truly wanted to know, you wouldn’t let the public eye prevent you from reaching the truth.” Again, Eirin seemed to expect this line of questioning. She sighed, shaking her head : it was the defeated sigh of someone who realises they can no longer keep something hidden, and that revealing the truth would be the path of least resistance.

“Correct, your highness : the public eye alone would not be enough to prevent me from pursuing his research; there are many ways for me to conceal such things, as you are well aware of.” She paused, letting Kaguya reach the conclusion herself.

“If that is not the reason, then... something else must be preventing you. Something within the subject matter itself.” Her own answer seemed to confuse her further, and she frowned as she asked : “But, Eirin, you’ve studied matters of much greater difficulty before. Surely black holes aren’t beyond even your abilities ? Besides, maybe if you had the aid of somebody else, to view the problem under a new angle...”

Eirin didn’t seem to acknowledge Kaguya’s last suggestion, as she corrected the princess.

“That is only half correct, your highness : they aren’t beyond my ability to understand, but they are beyond my physical limitations. You see, much research has been made on what constitutes a black hole, most of which I have already known for a long time. What I do not yet know is what lies beyond them, and the conclusion I have reached is that, as a mortal being, I may never know. I may have lived for longer than most can even comprehend, and survived many wounds that should have been fatal, but a black hole is simply too much; I would be shredded mercilessly, with no hope of surviving to see what lies beyond them, be it another universe beyond our imaginations, or maybe even nothing at all. As reluctant as I am to admit it, there is no foreseeable remedy to this hurdle...” Eirin’s voice had gained a distant quality to it as she trailed off into though; Kaguya waited for a while, to see if she had anything else to say, and when she was sure that Eirin had lost herself in thought, she brought her back to the present with her own questions.

“Does it not bother you, Eirin ?” Eirin flinched almost imperceptibly, snapping out of what she had been thinking. Seeing she had captured her attention, Kaguya continued :

“You are a genius. Everybody knows that. Your knowledge surpasses even the largest of our libraries, and as you live on, your knowledge will keep on growing to almost limitless extents. The problem is the fact all that knowledge is hanging in the balance of your life : as you said so yourself, you are mortal. One day, you will die; it could happen in another thousand millennia, outliving all of us, but it could also happen tomorrow : anything could happen, an unexpected explosion in the science department, or even a crazed person who has gained possession of a dangerous piece of military equipment. Just look at what happened today : that scientist was murdered in the middle of his research, and now everything he had discovered, and everything he could ever discover, was erased in an instant with his death. What if the same were to happen to you ?”

She paused for breath, judging Eirin’s reaction : the sage remained immobile, showing no emotion; Kaguya took this as a sign to continue.

“That isn’t all, though : not only is death a potential end to your knowledge, but it’s also a frontier that you may never surpass. What lies beyond those black holes ? Or, to be  even more direct, what _is_ death ? As mortals, death itself is something that we can never experience. Can you really accept the fact that your mortality will always leave a gaping hole in your knowledge ?” Eirin’s emotionless expression finally cracked; Kaguya knew her friend well, which meant she also knew that pointing out the flaws in her knowledge was one of the only ways to get through her hardened exterior to where she kept her emotions hidden. Just as Eirin was about to reply, one of the military rabbits guarding Eirin’s study knocked, before announcing loudly that the sage’s presence was requested elsewhere.

“I fear that I must take my leave, your highness. Please do not dwell any longer on such matters; what is impossible will remain impossible.” With that, Eirin stood up, bowed to the princess, and left; the last thing she saw as she turned into the corridor was the princess, smiling knowingly back at her.

 

 

 

                The conversation with the princess had remained at the back of Eirin’s mind all day. That night, when she was finally alone, the scenes from earlier that day played through her mind, nagging at her as she half-heartedly tried to block them out. _As a mortal, it is impossible to know anything involving death. I stand by what I said._ She was sitting upright in her bed, under the cold glow of a spherical orb of light floating next to her. This divergence from her usual strict sleeping schedule was a sure sign that something was on her mind, that something was getting to her. She needed to think.

_I shall never know, and I need to accept that. It is impossible to know everything, and if I may never know this, then so be it._

“ _Are you really ok with knowing that your knowledge will never be complete_ ?”

The princess’s words floated back up in her mind. She grimaced; she knew that, by pondering over the conversation like this, she was doing exactly what Kaguya wanted her to do. Usually, she wouldn’t mind playing along with the princess’s little mind games, since she was always one step ahead of Kaguya, but here, what was she to do ? It was impossible. Completely impossible.

_There is a way._

A spark lit in her mind, as the princess’s smile flashed in front of her eyes. _Had the princess really thought of this ? Had she figured out a way before I had ?_

“ _Besides, maybe if you had the aid of somebody else, to view the problem under a new angle...”_

A shudder ran over her as she thought back on the conversation : it was now clear to her that the princess hadn’t only been trying to get her to think of a solution, but that she had already arrived at one. _And she was just waiting for me to arrive at the same one as her._

It would be seen as treason, that she knew. There would be consequences if anybody found out.

_“If you truly wanted to know, you wouldn’t let the public eye prevent you from reaching the truth.”_

Once again, Kaguya’s words echoed in her mind, as if they were still talking, or, she though, as if Kaguya had planned out Eirin’s thoughts. She had been playing the princess’s game for longer than she thought. 

_She knew I couldn’t resist wanting to know._

_And I do. I want to know. I no longer want to be restrained._

Without truly wanting to admit it to herself, Eirin had decided to follow Kaguya’s plan. Her medicinal expertise, coupled with Kaguya’s power over eternity, may well be enough to break the shackles of mortality. All this time, she had only considered what she was able to do herself, but the princess, the only person she could truly call a friend, had opened her eyes. She had also opened a new path, a path to an infinity of new possibilities, a path that would lead her off the road of mortality...

_And then I would know._

_Soon, we will both be free._

 

 

                As Eirin left through the door, Kaguya smiled. _That was the spark she needed. Her curiosity will take over from here_.

The rabbit who was guarding the door was still standing to attention, unsure of what to do, looking hopefully at the princess for her next orders. “Thank you. I, too, shall take my leave.”

With her plan set in motion, she set off towards her chambers. As her soft footsteps echoed round the wide, empty corridors, lit only by the pale glow of moonlight reflecting from the city below her, she reflected on what she had set in motion. _It’s not like I manipulated her. She’s far too intelligent for that, much more so than I am; however, she always views her own limitations as absolute, without considering the possibility of external help. For someone who usually surpasses what anyone else could do, that does seem natural..._

In a square below her, she saw a squad of military rabbits partaking in their daily routine activities. Arms at the ready, and... at ease. Even from the height of the tower, she could see that quite a few of them fumbled with their weapons, or were just plain uninterested, not even trying to accurately perform the drill. As far as they were concerned, their whole military was just for show; none of them were old enough to remember the past wars. _None of them would be ready if another war was to take place. They would all die, and their lives would have amounted to nothing. Everything they knew, everything they thought, it would all be lost. However, if they were able to rise above their mortality..._ At that thought, Kaguya’s heart skipped excitedly. _Soon. Soon, I will rise above death itself. And then, I will be able to accompany her forever more. We will be able to continue learning, nothing will be able to stop us, not other lunarians, not time, nor even death itself..._

She paused in her train of thought, walking up to the giant glass window that acted like a wall to these unending corridors. She rested her head against it, taking in the scenery of the lunar capital.  Despite the lunarians going about their daily lives, it all felt so still to her, as if she was looking at an old photograph. From up here, she felt detached, as if nothing below her was real. _But, is this really what I want...?_ As she was thinking, her gaze fell on the central square; in the centre of it, a gallows was being assembled. She shuddered; memories of the previous princess, her mother, flashed before her eyes. _An excess of curiosity, one small mistake, and for that, she paid with her life... No, I refuse to end up like her. I shall not compromise; I refuse to die, or to let them shackle us any longer with their rules. Soon, we will be ready, and they will be unable to do anything to stop us. Soon, we will be immortal._

Kaguya gave one last sweeping look of disgust over her city, before turning her back to it, secluding herself in her chambers.

 


	3. Chapter 3

               A large, dark cloud had been covering the moon for the past few hours, plunging Eientei into darkness. Kaguya had been sleeping fitfully, tossing and turning, her face contorted into an expression of anxiety.

_Eientei. I am standing in the central courtyard. Eirin, Tei, and a group of rabbits are with me too. The sun and moon are spinning fast, too fast; night and day are succeeding each other in an instant. The bamboo is growing, reaching up into the sky, but now it is starting to whither. The rabbits have gone, and now Tei has, too; first their flesh disappeared, then their bones, and now there is only dust. Everything is rotting away, except for Eirin and I. Eientei, the ground, the sky, all of it is decaying into nothing, and now only the two of us are left in a black, empty void, as the sun and moon spin around and around, forever and ever, as we drift there for eternity in the dark, spinning, spinning..._

She woke up, gasping for air; she was trembling, and a cold sweat had formed on her forehead.

_The same dream again._

She tried to calm herself down by taking deep breaths, waiting for her heart rate to slow down, before attempting to go back to sleep. However, her mind was still lingering on her dream; that, coupled with the fact that she knew it was a full moon, had her far too tense to sleep properly. To the residents of Eientei, the full moon was like a giant eye opening up in the sky, searching for them, staring right through their windows, laying bare the privacy of the only place they could call home.

When the cloud finally moved on, the pale light of the full moon shone through Kaguya’s window and onto her face, tearing her from her half-asleep state with a start.

_The full moon. They’re coming !_

She jerked upright as that thought blanked out everything else in her mind; she sat there for a few seconds, breathing heavily, gathering her bearings. A night of a full moon for her was a constant stream of interruptions and feverish dreams, punctuating the night with gasps a cold sweats.

_No, I’m safe. I’m in Eientei, I’m still protected._ Of course, her fears were unfounded. _Eientei is still hidden. Nothing has changed._

_Nothing will ever change._

 

               Hours later, the warm glow of the sun replaced the harsh light of the moon. Nobody had came for her. They were safe for another month; her spell over eternity had kept Eientei hidden for another month. Like every night of a full moon, Kaguya had slept terribly, which was evident thanks to the dark rings under her eyes, made only more obvious by her pale skin.

_Why do I still worry so much ? There is nothing that they can do to us now that Eientei is frozen in time. We will remain here, hidden, until..._

She stopped in her contemplations, as if she had hit a dead end, unable to go any further along that train of thought. She was still rubbing her wearing eyes when she heard footsteps getting closer to her door; breakfast, most likely. The door slid open, and to her surprise, it was Tei that greeted her with her usual mischievous grin. “Rise and shine, Princess. Breakfast’s a little different from usual today, so you’re gonna have to get out of bed, I’m afraid.”

The princess said nothing, trying to gather up the will to rise out of her warm bed; she hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep but knew full well that she wasn’t getting any more rest today, so she tore herself from the warmth of the blankets, in search of her clothes. Tei, leaning on the doorframe, contented herself with simply watching her, not helping her get dressed like most of the rabbits would. Kaguya didn’t mind; she considered herself perfectly capable of dressing herself, and knew it would be against Tei’s nature to actually be helpful. _Although, after last night’s sleep, some assistance wouldn’t be unwelcome..._

“Ready ? Let’s go then. You’re in for a treat.” Tei started walking down the corridor with Kaguya wearily traipsing behind her.

Arriving at the dining hall, she was greeted by the sight of a young rabbit girl standing proudly, hands on hips, in front of a beautifully decorated bowl of pineapples, all cut into an impressive arrangement. The sweet smell filled the air, making it obvious to Kaguya that they had only just been cut; a large kitchen knife further down the table, still dripping with juice, confirmed her suspicions.

_Pineapples. How long has it been since I last ate one ? It feels like it’s been..._

“Ta-dah,” Tei chanted in a flat voice layered with sarcasm, “pineapples. Betcha weren’t expecting that, huh ?” The young rabbit noticed the sarcasm in her voice; slightly offended, she retorted : “Hey, these pineapples don’t usually grow in Gensokyo, you know. They took forever to find.”

Kaguya shuddered; she felt sick, but blamed it on the lack of sleep.

“Yeah, right. Eirin found them for you. You just had to go fetch them.” Eirin, standing at the back of the room, showed no reaction; she seemed to be watching Kaguya intensely, as if she could tell how the princess was feeling. At Tei’s words, the remains of the poor rabbit’s pride withered away, as her ears and shoulders drooped back into their usual humble position.

“You’re right, Eirin located them for me, I just picked them up where she told me to go... Still, it must have been an eternity since the Princess has eaten any, right ? Here,” she said, handing a slice to Kaguya, “try one, they taste great !” She looked hopefully at the princess, who usually had a kind word and a glowing smile to offer the rabbits. It quickly turned into a look of worry upon seeing the princess, though : she was somehow paler than usual, and drops of feverish sweat had formed on her brow, and she stared emptily at her hand, holding the slice of pineapple. “Princess ?”

_It must have been an eternity... yes, when was the last time I ate a slice of pineapple ?_ Memories following her exile from the moon flashed before her eyes : the bamboo cutter who had found her, the tales of her beauty that spread all over the land, her ascension to nobility, and from there onwards, the noblemen vying for her hand in marriage. She remembered the gifts they brought her, none of which were up to the standards of her five impossible requests, but that interested her despite her feigned lack of interest. One of them, a nobleman of the Fujiwara clan, had presented her a rare, exotic fruit. She had reached out for a slice, held it in her hand... All this seemed like another lifetime, so distant and ancient, and yet here she was, centuries later, holding another slice in her hand, her cold, white hand that was identical to how it was so long ago, unchanged, eternal. _I haven’t changed. So long has passed, and yet I am identical to how I was back then, the same as I will be in another thousand centuries, the same as I will always be, forever..._

“Princess !”

She became aware that everyone had drawn closer to her, all visibly worried. “Are you all right, Princess ? You seem ill...”

Still shaking, the princess tried to smile. “I am fine. Please do not worry about me, I simply did not sleep well.” Her voice was unsteady, causing more worry than reassuring them like she had hoped; even Tei had lost her usual grin as she saw the state the princess was in. Kaguya looked around, aware now that everyone’s eyes were on her; her vision had started to darken, and everything she heard sounded distant. “I am fine,” she insisted, and, trying to reassure the people around her, she bit into the slice of pineapple.

Her teeth cut into the juicy flesh of the fruit. She experienced it as if her senses were magnified; the crunch of the flesh, the juice coating her tongue, and, when she swallowed, the chunk of fruit and juice sliding down her throat, burning it with  its acidic flavour. She fell to her knees; her vision had gone dark, and she could only vaguely distinguish Eirin ordering everybody else out of the room.

Kaguya saw herself as if from a distance, floating in space, an infinite expanse of darkness, yet at the same time, she felt like she was space itself; she couldn’t distinguish who or what she was anymore. The only thing she was truly aware of was the fruit she felt passing through her, down into her stomach, into an infinite abyss. The fruit was so alive, so transient, and as it slid down her throat, it made her painfully aware of her own body, her undying body, which would forever remain unchanging, consuming so much but never being consumed, never becoming part of the cycle. She was a black hole; if she kept eating, over the eternity ahead of her, she would be eating planets worth of food, disappearing into her eternal, unchanging body, all being wasted into the emptiness that was her body. The juice kept running down her throat, and she was aware of every drop. She was mixing life with eternity; she could feel how out of place it was inside her, scorching her insides, reminding her of her own body, forcing her to be aware of how fundamentally opposed she was to anything alive.

_I can’t... I can’t go on. I need to get it out..._

Eirin had crouched next to her, holding her by the shoulders, trying to get Kaguya to hear her. She noticed the princess mouthing “get it out” over and over again, and, even though she knew Kaguya couldn’t hear her, she told her she was going to fetch some stomach cleansing medicine right away. Kaguya, now alone, was groping around blindly near the table, completely unaware of her surroundings, her insides torturing her.

_Get it out... Get the life out of me..._

She felt as if she was about to throw up, and wished she could, but the burning reminder of her eternal body remained firmly lodged inside her. Her hands then came across something sharp on the table; she winced in pain when she realised she had cut her finger on whatever it was.

Then she realised she had found the kitchen knife.

_Get it out of me !_

 

 

               When Eirin returned, it was too late. The knife lay on the floor, drenched in the blood of her princess. Kaguya was sprawled out on the floor with a gaping hole in her stomach, one arm reaching inside it, drenched in red up to the top of her sleeve. She was dead.

Eirin rushed to her side, kneeling down in order to lift the princess’s onto her lap. Kaguya’s eyes were half open, staring blankly ahead of her. Eirin pulled her closer, embracing the deceased princess’s head between her arms, seemingly oblivious to the copious amounts of blood she was getting on her. “Kaguya...”

The calm of her voice had gone, replaced by a plaintive sob as she repeated the princess’s name. She remained with the princess in her arms, crying quietly; the erratic shuddering of her shoulders were the biggest proof of her grief. Little by little, the blood stopped flowing out of the wound, and a few minutes later, a pale glow surrounded Kaguya; the light enveloped her, and after it had faded, the hole in her stomach had closed, without so much as a scar. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and was greeted with a sight she had never expected to see.

“Kaguya, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...”

The princess said nothing as Eirin’s tears rolled down onto her forehead. She had died, but had been dragged right back to life. There was no escape. She would forever be stuck in her unchanging body. There was nothing left to say now. All she could do was exist; whatever she did or did not do would be irrelevant eventually, anyway. She could only let herself get carried along by time, like a bottle floating in the sea, forevermore.

_Let her cry for me, for I no longer think I am able._

               Kaguya heard a sniffling sound in front of her, snapping her out of her memories : Mokou had wrapped her arms around Kaguya after she had started to cry, and the sight of her tears had plunged the princess into her past. _Those tears... Eirin has withdrawn herself so much to everyone since then. She never forgave herself..._

She felt empty : the memory of that fatal day when her despair had gotten then best of her was something she had done her best to bury away deep inside herself, and having it resurface now was draining for her. _Back then, darkness was all I could see ahead of me. It took far too long before a light appeared at the end of the tunnel..._

She looked down at Mokou, who was still crying against her. Kaguya hesitated for a second, before tentatively wrapping her arms around her rival. As she did, Mokou tightened her grip, burying her face into the folds of the princess’s clothes. Kaguya felt a rush, a sensation similar yet somehow different to what she felt in her many battles; holding her fellow immortal in her arms, running her finger down her back, feeling the bumps of her spine through her thin shirt, sensing each of Mokou’s shudders as she cried... Kaguya felt powerful :  like a cat toying with a mouse, holding its life in her balance, she felt in control. _She has her guard down. Right now, I could do anything to her, I could snap her neck, crush her skull, tear her apart, and it would only be more delicious after her practically offering herself like this..._ A shudder of pleasure ran down her spine at the idea. _And yet, I am content with simply holding her like this..._

Mokou’s grip tightened around her waist, sending a surge through Kaguya’s heart, as if something was filling it, raising it up in her chest. Gaining confidence, she lifted an arm, placing it gently on Mokou’s head, and started to stroke her hair. She looked up at Kaguya, her eyes red and her nose running. _What a pathetic sight_ , she thought, noting the tenderness of her own thoughts. Neither of them said anything; the only sound coming from them was Mokou’s sobbing, which blended into the chirping of cicadas as Kaguya absent-mindedly stroked  her head, waiting for her to calm down. _If she hadn’t found me, I might have never recovered from that period. In truth, I owe my life to her._

 

Mokou’s crying eventually died down : slowly, she sat back up, eyes still puffy and red. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but closed it again, looking away. She stood up, stretched, still avoiding eye contact with Kaguya.

 “I... thanks,” she said, her voice still choked up. “It’s just... you’re the only one who knows. I haven’t met anyone like us in so long, I just felt so...” She couldn’t finish her sentence; she didn’t need to. Kaguya tried to smile, despite still feeling melancholic due to her flashback. _The truth is, I need her, and I need her to know that._

“This last century without you has been a dark one for me : I felt like something was missing, something that was different even to the times before we had encountered each other. Maybe I was trying to not admit it to myself, but when I saw you today, I was sure : I need you, Mokou. I need someone who knows what immortality feels like, the despair that comes with knowing that no matter what happens, you will never escape the eternity ahead of you.”

At this, Mokou turned round to face her. Her tears had mostly dried, and she had started to regain her natural fiery glare as she started pacing in front of the princess.

“You don't need me, you’ve had it easy. You’ve never really been alone like me. You’ve had Eirin. She knows what it’s like to be immortal. And all around you, you’ve got the rabbits, you’ve got Tei, people you can call friends, or at least company. All I had was myself, and as I realised that I had forgotten the very reason for which I fought with you, I felt like I was losing even that...”

She stopped pacing, looking at Kaguya as if asking her rival to prove her wrong. The princess shook her head, a sad smile on her face. “Eirin is... different. She’s already lived for far longer than both of our lifespans combined. She thinks differently, she is used to the idea that she will never die; unlike us, she does not feel the same crushing boredom, the desire to escape from life that we do. Besides, after seeing what the Elixir had done to me, she has grown so distant... the guilt she feels has made her no longer consider me as a friend, but as someone she owns her life to in reparation for what she allowed. Even though, in truth, she owes me nothing..." She paused, looking in the direction of Eintei. _She needs to forgive herself._ Before Mokou could retort, Kaguya continued. "As for the rest, it may seem like we are friends, and I do value their company, but I just cannot allow myself to get too close to them. They are all going to die, like everybody else I have known who does not share our curse. How can I truly call someone a friend when I know that I will outlive them, that I will have to endure their death along with that of everyone else that I have ever known ? Truly allowing them into my heart would only be exposing myself to pain; the only friend I could have is someone who is not destined to die, leaving me behind with only a memory that will fade with time." As she spoke, Kaguya fixed Mokou in the eyes, whose gaze softened as she perceived the not-so-subtle meaning behind the princess's words . Mokou drew closer, crouching in from of Kaguya, staring straight at her. “What about before I found you ? Before our daily fights ? How’d you cope back then ?”

Kaguya looked up at the moon and shivered. “Back then... for the first few centuries, it was the fear that kept me going. We were in hiding, fearing the very sky above us. It was restricting, and yet... it gave some kind of purpose to our lives : we weren’t simply living, we were hiding. But that couldn’t last forever : Eientei was sealed in time, and after long enough had passed, I realised that they were not coming for me. As the fear started to fade, it left an emptiness within me, which in turn filled up with despair, as I realised that I had trapped myself in an unchanging, eternal life of ennui. I would have completely lost my reason , if it were not for the ray of light that descended from the sky, tearing the boredom from me.” As Kaguya finished talking, she smiled almost imperceptibly. Mokou didn't return the smile, though, and replying instead in a harsh tone, “Don’t thank me. Back then, I hated you. I wanted you to suffer for the dishonour you brought upon my family.” The harshness in her words quickly faded, however, as she sheepishly added : “Doesn’t that sound like such a stupid reason now ?”

“I always considered it a stupid reason. For all I cared, I could have murdered your whole family, or simply insulted your fashion sense, what mattered to me was that it gave you a reason to duel with me, over and over again, which distracted me from my immortal fate. You feel that way too, do you not ?”

“I’m not even sure. At first, it was purely for vengeance. Then, for a while, I fought you for the sake of it, forgetting any reason I had for fighting. But one day, I took a step back and thought about our feud, and that’s when I realised...” Mokou stared off into the distance, before adding in almost a whisper : “You know, I do still try to remember sometimes. But they’re gone. My memories of him, I mean. That’s why I left. I wanted to find something to help me remember, something to re-ignite the fire that kept me going for so long. Without a reason to hate you, we had no reason to fight, and so I had no reason to... to live. After all, I only drank the Elixir to be able to get my revenge..." There was a touch of something new in Mokou's voice, as if she was on the verge of something that she couldn't quite express yet. "But, out there, everything has changed so much; it’s as if time evolves differently there than in Gensokyo. Yeah, I haven’t just been wandering around Gensokyo all this time, I was finding a way out. But nothing is the same out there. Maybe that’s why it’s so difficult to cross the barrier...” A look of desperation was in her eyes as she continued. “There was nothing that could help me remember. I came back empty handed and still lacking anything that could reignite my fire... Without anything to justify our interactions, what am I meant to do, Kaguya ? Without you, why I am I alive ? How can I just accept the fact that my past is behind me, when it means abandoning the only thing that gave me some kind of future ?" She looked at Kaguya, as if pleading her to come up with a solution. To the princess, it was as if Mokou had raised the white flag of surrender. A small grin had started to draw itself of Kaguya's face as Mokou talked; she knew she was now in control, able to steer the conversation as she wished.

“You say you no longer have any reason to fight with me anymore, and yet, you are here now, are you not ?" Mokou didn't deny it, nor did she try to take her distance as Kaguya started to crawl towards her. "You must have came back here for something. If it was not out of hate, then...” She continued to advance towards Mokou, pushing her onto her back; the princess was now looming over her helpless rival. “Why did you return ?”

This was what Mokou had been waiting for; instead of trying to free herself, she raised a hand, placing it on Kaguya’s cheek. Kaguya had answered the question she couldn't put into words, and now, she could let the whole truth be revealed.

“I couldn’t stand to be without you any longer. I realised, when I was away, that the reason for our fights was irrelevant, that it was the action itself that gave light to my life. As I came to accept that my past had been swept away by time, I also realised that I didn’t need the fire of my vengeance to fuel me any longer, since a new kind of fire had been lit, and it was burning inside me, telling me to return to its source.” She caressed Kaguya’s face with her thumb; a tear had formed in the corner of her eye, sparkling under the shadow cast by the princess. "I have buried my past now, putting out the flame of vengeance that has been smouldering inside me for so long. As for why I came back, it was to see... to see if the new fire that had replaced it was also burning within you.”

This was what Kaguya wanted to hear. She smiled, and gently took Mokou’s hand in her own; she felt the warmth of her rival through her cold fingers as she held it there, pressed against her face. She then lowered her hand, still holding Mokou’s, pinning it to the ground. “Your fire is what keeps me warm through the cold winds of time,” she said, slowly approaching her face to Mokou’s. “Mokou, you are the fire that lights my future. You are my ray of light, tearing through the darkness ahead of us. I need you.”

At that, she pressed her lips against Mokou’s, who, after a brief instant of surprise, opened her mouth, letting the one she so desired in; as the two immortals kissed, their hands started to travel, caressing each other’s faces, down Kaguya’s back, onto Mokou’s breasts. Mokou’s thin shirt was the first to be torn off, followed by the remains of Kaguya’s ceremony robes. They broke off from their kiss; the princess's head started travelling downwards, kissing her rival’s neck, then further still, down to her now exposed breasts, biting them, revelling in the faint whimpers Mokou inadvertently let out when Kaguya’s teeth passed along the sensitive tips. Kaguya’s hands followed the same downwards motion, stroking Mokou’s firmly toned stomach, caressing her hips, and then further still, down between her legs, lingering a little to build anticipation.

“I want to hear you say it, Mokou”, she said, sending shivers throughout Mokou’s body by slowly moving her fingers up and down.

“I need you too,” she whispered, looking up at the princess longingly. Kaguya grinned, before plunging her fingers in; Mokou gasped, digging her fingernails into Kaguya’s back, writhing in pleasure as the princess worked magic with her fingers, sending bursts of pleasure through her immortal body that had long since forgotten about such functions. After regaining control of herself a little, Mokou’s own hands travelled down the princess’s body, toying with her breasts, grabbing her round, pale buttocks, then moving over to the front, caressing it, before penetrating into her warm insides. The two were now joined together by their fingers, united by a pleasure they had left behind then along with their mortality, back when they still felt like their bodies belonged to them. Each caress, each moan was a rush of pleasure washing over their eternally young bodies, reanimating each other’s senses as their fingers danced over each other, stroking, grabbing, toying, scratching...

 

               The sun was now low in the sky, casting a warm glow that filtered through the bamboo leaves, drawing a mosaic of shadows over the two immortals who were lying naked on the forest floor, panting heavily after having let out a final moan of pleasure in unison. They let themselves collapse to the ground, Kaguya’s head coming to rest on one of Mokou’s arms, her back lined with red marks where she had been scratched during the fit of passion; Mokou hadn’t escaped unscathed either, as her arms, neck, and breasts were all covered in bite marks. Neither of them seemed to mind, though; as they lay there, regaining their breathes, they smiled. The princess rolled over, draping an arm over her newly found lover, who was still recovering from the pleasure the princess had procured her with her fingers. The tiredness they felt was different to the usual feeling after their battles, but despite not dying and being reborn, they both felt refreshed, reinvigorated, and yet exhausted. They lay there, appreciating the warmth of each other’s skin, Mokou drifting off to sleep as Kaguya, cuddled up against her, drifted into thought, imagining the future they were embarking on together.

_Mokou is all I need.  Whether we fight to the death or make love, she will always be with me, sharing my feelings, understanding them like nobody else ever could. We may spend the next few centuries as lovers, or go back to murdering each other; what counts is how every interaction with her makes me forget about my eternal, cursed body, and instead wakes up my senses, managing to make me feel alive again. When everything around us is gone, when Reisen and Tei are long since dead and the immortals are all that is left, when the eternal darkness eventually comes, she will always be with me to light the darkness._

_She will always be my ray of light._


End file.
